Scam-Asia

A few days ago we signed up for a several hour bamboo raft ride from Guilin to Yangshuo. We happily paid our money and set off for our three hour tour. Turns out when we arrived at the pier we were only on our bamboo raft for thirty minutes and then herded onto a bigger overcrowded boat with the rest of the tourist cattle. Not only was it not what we expected but we paid more (and actually less too) than other people on the boat for the same tour. Big rip off? True it was not a Gilligans Island catastrophe and we still had a lovely time but the fact is you don't always get what you pay for. Welcome to Asia! We present to you some of the best scams, touts, and rip offs Asia has to offer compiled from stories from fellow travelers. Now that you have already read Brad's earlier sellers manual you, too, can read the following to become a con artist in Asia (or avoid travel scams during future adventures).

1. The "tea" scam (mostly China). Friendly person approaches speaking English. Offers to help you, find place, etc and suggests you stop somewhere for quick drink along the way. Thinking you have met a new friend you agree and they offer you some tea and before you and your partner know it some muscled dude comes to say you owe $50 apiece. Just happened to an English couple we met in Beijing.

2. The "wine" scam (mostly China, but happens elsewhere) Like the tea scam but involves usually single men. You meet a lady who speaks good English and she asks you to go for a drink. Little did you know you have bought her a 100 year old glass of wine and now owe your arm and a leg. She's just not that into you, only your money and her cut of it.

3. The "tour" scam (everywhere). You are almost always being ripped off paying for a tour. Whether you are trying to hike in Chiang Mai, a Mekong cruise in Lao, or take a boat to Yangshuo you are probably paying too much due to your Caucasian ancestry. Brad refers to it as skin tax. We even get charged too much when we buy fruit. We have become overly suspicious and are now guilty of "over-bartering" even when bartering for price is not an option and no one is attempting to scam us. The tour company or hotel just assumes you are passing through and that they wont hear from you again. Wrong- those people who sold me that boat tour have not heard the last of me. Guess what suckers I will be back in Guilin today so we will be having a chat. Don't make me be "nice like a cobra".

4. "Art Shop" student (China). Friendly citizen begins a conversation about where you are from (a very normal question). Oh, what a coincidence they are going there to study! Next year! How funny is that... And they also have an art shop right around the corner if you want to visit. We have not yet figured out what the end result is (rob, steal, or art at an outrageous price) but we aren't going to head there to find out.

5. Marble shop, Silk Shop, Silver Shop (India). Friendly cab driver asks if you like to shop or if you want to see how ____ is made. You ask him to just go to a market and he tells you he knows just the place, no market around. Before you know it you are inside of a silk shop being served Chai tea and shown silk swatches. Cost twice as much cause your driver gets also commission. "oh, just look you don't have to buy!" says the driver. Let me tell you when you don't want to buy the nice demeanor certainly changes. We learned to give our destination and follow it up with, "And no stops!" We did, however, end up with a little marble elephant before we wised up. No market my ass.

6. Tuk tuk gas stamps (Thailand and Cambodia). Amazing deal on a ride if you will just stop by this shop or tailor super quick so the driver can get a gas stamp for bringing the owner of the store potential prey. We have literally crawled out of a tuk tuk after refusing to go in and the driver was attempting to block us with his body. I'll show you a gas stamp buddy...

7. Poo Shoe (India) I'm not making this one up- happened to an Australian we met. An Indian shoe shiner suddenly points out you have a bunch of poo on your shoe and they will clean it for you with their little shoe cleaning kit. What you don't realize is that this is no coincidence and someone else from the poo gang just flicked it there while you weren't looking. You have fallen in the trap and are about to get charged 500 rupees for getting it cleaned off. Our new friend said he earned the nickname "shit shoe" after experiencing this gem. Animal or human feces? Your guess is as good as mine.

8. Powdered Milk ( Cambodia) A hungry child or poor mother approaches you begging for money. When you say no they then ask if you will please just buy some powdered milk for the poor child. Tug at the heartstrings and tug hard! What you don't know is that the shop is in on it and after you buy said powdered milk the person/child sells it back to the store for half price. Big profits here. We were asked for this by several kids and parents but instead I would just offer them a few bites of whatever we were eating. I do appreciate a young entrepreneurial spirit though- keep hustlin.

9. TAT office (Thailand). TAT is supposed to be the official tour office that is licensed to sell tours. Always ask for a TAT number when purchasing anything and I would recommend you shop around, look at reviews, and do your homework. Just cause it has a TAT sticker on the window doesn't mean its legit. Some people are taken to fake TAT offices and scammed for hundreds of dollars. If there are a bunch of other white people in there that doesn't mean its for real. It doesn't make it official because someone says it is. In any country just try to buy train, bus, etc straight from the station whenever possible.

10. Motorbikes Rental (take your pick of countries) You hand over your passport as a deposit (or large sum of cash) and take off for a day around your motorbike or even bicycle in some cases. When you return they are horrified and demand you pay for some scratch that has suddenly and supposedly occurred while in your care. In cases they have demanded ridiculous sums of money or police involvement. They still have your passport too so you are stuck. Some older dude we met in Thailand fought some thugs with a wrench over a "scratched" motorbike. Luckily for us when we wrecked the motorbike and legitimately messed it up it was owned by an Englishman and he was quite reasonable if not kind about the matter. Thank god, cause he also was enormous and enjoyed kickboxing.

11. Taxi Fare (everywhere) Always agree on price before you get in a cab or make them turn on the meter. Tuk-tuks everywhere are notorious for giant rip offs and while they are tremendously fun ending the ride with a yelling match is not enjoyable. Taxis everywhere in the world can be a rip off it seems. Always trying to milk the meter for all it's worth!

12. Fake visas (Thailand to Cambodia) Crossing the border from Thailand into Cambodia is a nightmare. It's a weird stretch of no man's land and everyone is trying to sell Cambodian visas. You cannot, I repeat cannot buy a Cambodian visa before you leave Thailand's border. But before you know it you have departed the bus in Thailand and have been shuffled into an office and are filling out paperwork to pay double the price of the actual visa cost. After about thirty seconds we bounced straight out of that office in Thailand and across the border. Once you cross there are more "official" places waiting to charge you to get a visa in Cambodia- skip them all and head for the real government office. Poipet is the armpit of Asia and land of scams. We opted to get our visa in Bangkok to skip that nonsense.

13. Tuk tuk to preferred guest house/hostel (Cambodia). Everyone gets a cut. You don't have a place to stay? The tuk-tuk will suggest a GREAT place and take you to their preferred hostel and when you agree to stay they get commission. Not the worst scam around- in some cases everyone actually ends up happy. Unless somehow bed bugs are involved.

14. Stolen remote/room deposit scam (Vietnam specifically but elsewhere too) When you check out of your room you are told your remote is missing, a towel gone, etc. You are then expected to pay for said item. This happened to an Australian couple who came back from a late night and found the remote missing. After calling the hotel on this and freaking out on management the hotel finally backed down and replaced the "missing" remote. We haven't experienced this firsthand thankfully although someone in housekeeping did once drink my iced tea and then refilled it with water in hopes I wouldn't notice. Hey betch- the seal wasn't cracked yet I know what you were up to.

15. Beggars network (all over) Who you give to is not necessarily who receives. That is true everywhere. We will not even get into the dark side of this- we have all seen Slumdog Millionaire.

16. Money for pictures- taking and receiving (India and all countries with hill tribes/villages) A picture is not free. The nice guard in India wants money after taking a photo for you- it doesn't matter that he was just standing there with nothing else to do. The snake charmer is going to invite you to sit next to him and then after you snap a couple shots he will demand 300 rupees. Absolutely not. I will never forget the little 10 year old Hmong girl in Laos who after flashing me a smile while I took her picture demand "Now you pay money! Picture no free!"You speak the truth little lady. I will however willingly pay 10 yuan to see one of the "long hair" women in China undo her hair if I get to take a video. Pictures of "exotic" things will cost you.

17. Just cause you've paid admission doesn't mean it's free (all countries, especially China). You paid 750 rupees to get into the Taj Mahal and you thought your shoe covers were free? Think again. Although we have found this all over Asia China has been the biggest culprit. Nature costs money folks, especially if it's man made. You pay to get into a park only to pay to get into the attraction within the park. Then you might have to pay to get into something else and don't you forget about the souvenir photo at the end! Rock shaped like an elephant? You pay to see. Want to go to a scenic viewpoint? Pay now! Temple to pray? Pay! Picture with a peacock? F you pay me!

Just like in America be mindful of pickpockets, smart about money, and keep your stuff locked up safely. Its not all bad news by any means and the majority of people are just living their life. Asia is also the land of unfixed prices and bargaining and when I'm in the right mood I quite enjoy the game of retail tennis- back and forth we go with the prices. It's all about being fair, continuing to smile, and remembering that we are a guest in their country while taking no prisoners. We have gotten some amazing deals along the way. The good things about Asia far outweigh the bad and I think you can find rotten apples all over the world. Basic rules: use your head and trust your gut. We hope you have enjoyed today's lesson at the school of hard knocks- that will be $27 apiece payable to me. $50 apiece if you drank the tea. Thank you! Pay now or deal with my thug (Brad).