All you need is love... (and a friend)

Today was a better day. Perhaps it was because I woke up unwilling to be filled with self pity or perhaps I just really needed a good nights sleep after the epic train ride. Either way I woke up to the sound of a pounding thunderstorm and felt as if the rain had washed away the negativity of the previous day. We had a lovely breakfast overlooking the Li River in Guilin and I even treated myself to a double espresso.

I have been thinking lately about interactions with people and the relationships we form based on experiences. Why is it that sharing something with someone else makes the experience seem more powerful? Be it a beautiful sunset, impressive mountain, or frustrating restaurant encounter it somehow seems to hold more truth when we have someone else there with us to validate our feelings about the occurrence. Maybe it's because beauty and pain are hard to put into words and we want someone there who just understands. Maybe its simply that humans are social beings and we like the company of others. Perhaps we need to hear the feelings of others to better formulate our own opinions about what we have seen. Having the ability to share an experience with another makes us feel less alone in the world. Take my bad mood the other day for example- even though I didn't need to I felt like venting to you through this blog would somehow help me to feel better.

I have had some incredibly interesting interactions with people while on this trip. Some are really great and meaningful while others have been irritating and frustrating. Every step of the way I have been so glad Brad has been here to experience this alongside me. He has been my sounding board, voice of reason, companion, and pep coach during this adventure. So far we have found that in China people are either indifferent to us or incredibly curious. Take the train station for example- prior to boarding we got tons of stares and everyone was very curious about what we were doing there. I dont think I have ever had so many people watch me eat a piece of fruit. Oooh, watch the Caucasian girl eat that fruit...so weird. Ooooh watch the Caucasian man zip up the backpack...strange. Oooh watch the Caucasian couple sit there and wait for the train...they are so patient. It was like being a monkey at the Denver zoo. After awhile of dealing with the stares Brad decided to do a little impromptu Vaudeville dance number ending with jazz hands that the crowd seemed to enjoy. Even waiting for the train becomes an experience. I suppose people are just interested in something that is different than their daily reality.

I often find when looking back at memories from the trip it's the different encounters with people that stand out the most, sometimes even more than the attractions we have seen. While on the train we met an elderly Chinese man named Huang who obviously wanted some new friends to share the train experience with. He was in our tiny four person cabin and although he spoke not a word of English that was not going to stop him. He was extremely sweet and very concerned we did not go hungry on the train. He made us eat his apples, cakes, and gave us a big bowl of instant soup. Keep in mind we also had our own food but he insisted by pushing it in our hands. Through the help of our translation book we explained we were from America which he did not like. He said a bunch of words in Chinese accompanied by head shakes- he had some serious grievances about America and obviously thought China was far superior. He made it clear he liked us though and he took multiple videos of us on his phone and gave us a gift of a new deck of playing cards. Perhaps in that 20 hours we helped change his mind about Americans in general. The picture below is Huang and Brad- best bunkies! I will probably forget about the uncomfortable beds, lack of privacy, and disgusting bathrooms (I was practicing self dehydration while aboard) but I know I will remember that smiling Chinese man that learned how to "high five" from Brad.

I think that the urge to share experiences with others begins at a very early age. I noticed when I taught preschool how willing kids are to just go up to another child with no fear of rejection. Adults could learn a great deal about bravery from kids in that aspect . I met one such girl on the train who was looking for a new friend. She was a three year old Chinese ball of fire. She saw me in my little cabin and told her grandfather she wanted to "go play with the pretty girl" (her grandfather translated) and play we did. Her photo is also below. A lot of kids here in China are very shy and fearful of us so this was a welcome change. She rejected Brad initially , calling him a "grandpa" in Chinese because of his beard. She loved all my jewelry but thought Brad's skull ring was "scary, not beautiful". Sister had a serious sense of style with her pigtails and hello kitty sweatshirt. We watched a Jetsons cartoon episode on my IPod, drew some pictures, and she tried to get me to let her watch Sex and the City but I assured her it was not right for her age bracket even though she was a little spitfire ahead of her years. She was so cute I even allowed her sit on my lap while she gnawed dried shrimps which completely grossed me out. She was probably interested in me mostly because I am different from her average playmate but we had a good time laughing together and counting to three in English.

Meals here in China are truly a shared experience. No one orders their own entree and dinner is a very social time with lots of loud laughs and hand gestures. I have yet to see someone Chinese eating alone at a restaurant. I am always pointing out crazy food to Brad and I'm so glad I have someone to laugh about it with. I have brought up the love for chicken feet (even sold packaged at convenience stores cause you just might need it on the go) but it doesn't stop there. Today we watched some guy sell river snakes and turtles he had caught from the polluted river for people to take home and cook. Intestines, tendons, birds nest soup, ducks tongue, and tripe are some popular menu items. They love their fermented eggs- yum yum yum! Apparently Chinese people even go so far as to eat-gasp- pizza with mayonnaise! My mind cannot wrap around the crazy. At least the people we see eating together generally seem to be enjoying themselves and sharing the experience together. Even in America it is rare to see someone eating dinner alone. Why is that such a rare phenomenon?

China is also land of the massive tour groups. In a country with 1.3 billion people its easy to understand why privacy is a luxury and it's easier (and perhaps for many more fun) to join the group. Today we forked over some dough and headed to a lookout mountain point/park. Everything, and I mean everything, costs money to do here in China. It can get really frustrating because sometimes you pay to get in to an "attraction" and then have to pay even more money to see yet another attraction within the attraction but we have gotten pretty good about finding the humor in it all. Sometimes it's worth handing over some money to get to experience a gorgeous temple or a little bit of nature and it makes me realize how spoiled I am to be living in Colorado and getting "free nature". We met a Canadian there who was very eager to talk to us about his experience in China thus far and where we have been. He told us he was glad to meet other North Americans. It was fun to be there with Brad and all the tour groups, laughing together as we all got stuck in a torrential downpour.

Speaking of companionship and the beauty of sharing experiences I also have to take a moment to say how proud I am to be an American today. I just heard that Obama "came out" in favor of marriage equality and I could not be happier. I passionately believe that two consensual adults who are in love should have every right to get married regardless of their gender. Getting engaged to Brad was one of the happiest moments of my life and I do not think anyone should be denied the right to that same freedom of joy. I am proud to say that I found my soul mate to marry and I wish each and every American (and elsewhere for that matter) that same good fortune to find their great love. I cannot believe in this day and age some people are still fighting this issue especially since marriage should be a choice between only the two individuals entering into the union. Lets choose to spend our time and energy solving more relevant issues at hand. I dont remember if I have already touched on this but when i tell people I am from America time and time again their faces light up as they call out, "Obama!" It would seem he is a symbol of hope for many people worldwide and today he is giving hope to the LBGT community. Let's be honest here as well- more weddings can only be beneficial for the economy. I am not trying to use this blog as a political platform or offend anyone with my personal views but rather I simply love love and have to express my happiness at the news I heard today.

Now that I have climbed off the pedestal of equality I wanted to thank you for taking this literary journey with me- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's been an absolute pleasure having you along for the ride and being able to share my words with you. Another day in Guilin and then we head off to the villages of the Dragon's Back Rice Terraces in Longsheng County, China! Don't pack a heavy bag though apparently its a 40 minute uphill climb to get to our next hostel. Onwards and upwards!