Tube it or Lose it...

As we rolled into Vang Vieng I was strangely reminded of an old west film. The streets were dusty and there was only one main road, the buildings and bars all had the same yellow Beer Lao signs and the place seemed a bit deserted. Turns out most people were just off tubing the river, which is the town's main attraction. I hoped I was just overwhelmed from the seven hour journey through the mountains and a lack of air conditioning. Then, as we pulled into town we started seeing those signs for happy pizza and I knew I was in for a wild ride.

The mountains surrounding Vang Vieng are incredible- imposing limestone after limestone giants tower overhead, covered in that mossy green jungle. The river snakes through and is flanked by wide open rice paddies and wandering cattle. Then, in the midst of this beauty, is this makeshift town filled with guest houses, bars, restaurants, and the homes of the Laos people that cater to the tourism. It's a crazy small town that takes half and hour to walk around yet there are at least nine or ten bars playing looped reruns of Friends and Family Guy. If you want to find the never ending party, "Super High Bronies" (we assume they mean brownies), and fucked up white people than this is your place. If you also like tubing, kayaking, caves, and nature then this is also your place. Vang Vieng has a little something for everyone.

The first day we decided to try our hand at some cave exploring.  For the bargain price of $11 we booked a half day cave adventure.  The giant tuk-tuk drove us out of town to the first cave, Elephant Cave, which was really just a massive hole in the side of the limestone cliff that was filled with some buddhas and a rock shaped like an elephant.  Not seriously impressed thus far but at least I got to see another Lao village along the way.  Then we ventured out into the jungle and began to tromp along until there was a little hole in the limestone cliff ahead.  We all donned headlamps and climbed into the first cave down the rickety bamboo steps.  The view was incredible- stalagmites and stalactites filled the cavern and there were quartz formations running along the walls.  There were very slippery rocks and you had to watch your footing carefully.  The guide told us (after a lot of questions and pantomiming from me) that during the Vietnam war many people from Lao hid out in these caves to avoid bombing.  The sad truth is that Laos was also a casualty in many ways (way to go, War and thanks for dropping bombs America) and the Hmong people have dealt with a gamut of problems as a result of helping the United States.  There are still thousands of active bombs that have not been exploded yet laying amongst the land in Laos.  I could go on and on here, but I will leave you to read your history books and do some exploring on your own.  Anyways, this cave is so massive that you could trek through it for over five days and then come out somewhere else.  Insane!  We wanted to keep going but we had some elderly folk in our group and the guide didn't look pumped at the prospect of the rocks and crevices up ahead.  Onward we tromped to the third cave, Loup cave, which was filled with more impressive stalagmites and stalactites.  There were all sorts of little caverns and I can see why people get so into spelunking- it's a completely different world.  The last cave was my personal favorite for a variety of reasons.  It's called water cave and you had to go in using a rubber inner tube! You held on to a rope, slid yourself inside, and tubed throughout the cave.  At points you would have to stand up in the water and at other points it was so deep you couldn't even stand up.  So creepy- no idea what is underneath of you and in front of you (as Brad and I were leading the group at many points, our guide was hanging behind with the older folks).  It was a massively fun adventure and one I will never forget!  During the rainy season the entire cave fills up and you cannot even go inside.  Later in the day Brad and I tramped off on our own to find another cave and I quickly learned why guides are good.  While walking on the path a frog jumped out of the grass, followed by a red neck keel back snake coming straight towards me.  It was not even a foot away.  I jumped like a frightened gazelle, took off running, and Brad was right behind me.  A group of Lao teens appeared out of nowhere and started to hit the snake with a plastic pepsi bottle.  Turns out the snake can be poisonous if it bites you the correct way.  I immediately insisted we turn around and the teens followed us for a few minutes and thought my freak out was pretty hilarious.  They would occasionally yell "snake!" and then crack up.  Real hilarious boys.

The second day we took our turn at tubing.  When we first showed up I was completely freaked out- it looked like my spring break trip to Mexico circa 2002.  Hot messes filled the crowd- along this gorgeous river was bar after bar after bar enticing those to come with free bracelets and whisky shots.  These bracelets were hilarious- you see these kids walking around with armfuls of them as a badge of honour.  Damn, they like to drink and they want you to know it!  At each bar you get your bracelet and play whatever game they have.  There were giant slides, the BLOB (didn't go well for me I just catapulted face first), trapeze swings into the water (soooo fun), zip lines, and more.  Brad was a big hit with the Lao people on the Blob. Now this all sounds good and fun but imagine when you get a bunch of 18-40 somethings and add a bunch of booze in a place with very few rules.  Yes, what you are imagining is probably true.  I would like to say that I am a level headed reasonable person but even I got swept away by the lure of the Lao Lao whisky and my evening ended with several bruises and some digestive pyrotechnics.  Brad, however, handled himself perfectly and was the most sane person there.  We stayed away from the body painting, the beer pong (where has that ball BEEN people?!), and the idiocy of the many people consuming their happy shakes and throwing themselves into the river.  The bars pull you in with a bottle attached to a rope and I found myself wondering how many people were hit in the head daily.  According to an Australian who worked at the bar almost 20 people died last year doing stupid things and making wasted choices at the river.  Just head into town around sunset and you will see why... people get so out of their minds.  I asked Brad at one point, "Imagine what we would do if a bunch of Asians showed up in Denver, got fucked out of their minds, and then wandered around our city?" Never.  Yet for the people of Vang Vieng this is a daily occurrence.  The highlight of my tubing experience had to be when Brad and I were peacefully floating and we were suddenly overtaken by a small gang of Lao kids around 6-9 years old.  They started hanging on our tubes, trying to climb in my lap, one of them was completely naked, and it was utterly hilarious.  We let them float with us for awhile before they lost interest and went to bother the next tubers.  All in all a sight to see.  Later that night we met some people in a bar and while talking about Vang Vieng the guy declared to me, "I'm getting tired."  I must have looked confused, because he then added, "I've been tubing for five days.  I'm starting to get a little tired.  Maybe I will check out those caves."  Five days and you are just starting to get tired?!  Good grief.

We had an easygoing third day that was topped off by a delightful hot air balloon ride! I have always wanted to go on a hot air balloon and the best fiancé ever lovingly suggested we splurge and book the balloon.  At sunset we floated up in our own private balloon to view Vang Vieng from above.  It was like nothing I have ever experienced floating so high above the world and feeling a dual sense of tranquility and excitement.  Laos is so gorgeous and as the blood red sun set behind the mountains I watched the last of the tubers from the day float down the river towards town.  Our balloon operator has apparently won several competitions and he expertly floated above the treetops for forty minutes.  I will treasure that experience for the rest of my life.

All in all I was an enormous fan of Vang Vieng.  Sure, I drank a little too much, but I have decided to keep just one bracelet on to remind myself to know my limits in the future.  Yes, we did succumb to several episodes of Friends while playing cards at the bar but it was actually somewhat comforting and funny to be in such a foreign place watching Ross and Rachel fight.  However, we also made sure to experience some of the beauty and natural splendour that Vang Vieng has to offer.  Life is all about finding that perfect balance between pleasure and pain (aka Lao whisky).  

Waterfallin in love

Yesterday we had the pleasure of going to Kuang Si waterfall, just outside of Luang Prabang. We jumped into the ubiquitous tuk-tuk, transportation of champions, and headed off to pick up another couple from France and then to the waterfall. Our first stop along the way was at a Hmong village. I was super excited about this, until we arrived. People were living in the traditional village style- reed and straw huts on stilts, a few concrete buildings, and lots of makeshift hammocks. But they had set up table after table with their woven goods to sell to tourists and children were often the vendors. Most had snotty noses, dirty faces, and tattered clothes. Many of them were sewing away on the crafts, even as young as age four. I kept trying to ask them about school, and they kept harassing me about buying their bracelets and purses. Brad tried to make them laugh through jokes and high fives and when it worked it was a small gift. After I took a picture of one hardworking entrepreneur she called out "you owe me 2000 kip for picture! No free!" She was nine years old. I didnt buy anything- how could I discriminate between one family and the next? How could I add to this child labor? Would there be a riot among children for kip? The French girl, Emilie, put it best- it was like going to a zoo to look, take pictures, and leave back to my comforts. Next time I will be prepared with books to give.

With my heart aching we continued onward. At the beginning of the park there was a bear sanctuary that saved bears from the Chinese and vietnamese medicine industry (bear bile is a hot commodity. Yum.) I know why the phrase "bear hug" exists now cause I wanted to squeeze those suckers! After ogling some bears we continued onward to the first part of the waterfall and swimming hole.

The water was a pale turquoise, snaking through the green jungle of Laos. Brad and I both jumped into the crisp mountain water and marveled at the beauty. We continue up the path to find more waterfalls and more swimming holes filled with people reveling in natures glory. Brad "say yes to life" Paterson jumped off a 15ft waterfall into the crystal clear pool below, and then gave the crazy Tarzan rope swing a try. By this point I was chilly and thought I was done swimming. We walked past several more smaller waterfalls and swimming areas, as they just kept coming. I was thrilled and thought that was it, until we came upon the mother of all waterfalls cascading down the limestone cliffs. It was powerful and intimidating, and I wanted to climb to the top! We set up the slippery path and after a hard 15 minute journey we were at the top. There was yet another waterfall feeding the giant waterfall- they just kept coming! A small group of people were climbing out of the pool at the top and I stared at them in amazement. Were they crazy? They could be swept over the big waterfall- there was only a little chain link fence in the water separating them from that cliff! Then one of the girls looked at me and said, "you should try, that was great!"

I have always wanted to swim by a waterfall. Always. Here I was on top of one giant waterfall and underneath of another. A million reasons to say no- but instead I said fuck it and pulled off my tank and jumped in. The water was strong but I knew I would be safe as long as I didnt go directly under the falls. A few rocks jutted out of the water and I climbed up to the smaller pool and let the water rain down on my face. Here i was, swimming underneath my dream. Brad stood nearby, taking pictures and bursting with pride at my spontaneity. Yes to life. After a few minutes I swam back over to shore (carefully) and hopped out. It was one of my proudest moments because I just stopped wondering "what if...". I thought of a new life mantra recently- "in life there are what ifs and what is. You can wonder all day about what ifs but the only true reality is what is." I finally stopped worrying and accomplished a life goal. My new French friends thought I was nuts but Brad could not have been more excited. I will post pictures when I can.

We finished the day with a lovely meal with the couple, and promised to keep in touch. I love that aspect of traveling. Even though we had a long hard day today traveling through the mountains to Vang Vieng, I continued to think about that waterfall. Sometimes, in life, we all just have to jump.

A few Mekong goodies

Enjoy! A few of the misty Mekong morning, the menu with the psychedelic shake, and one good looking man on a boat.

Mekong, ting tong! (that means "crazy")

After a wild three day journey we arrived in beautiful Luang Prabang, Laos! Our journey began from Chiang Mai in a mini bus with nine other people from differing countries. On the road we were lucky enough to stop at the White Temple in Chiang Rai, the most gorgeous I have seen to date. An artist/architect has been working on this self funded project for over 20 years and it's breathtaking- completely white, covered in mirrors, and ornate. It's a commentary on society as well- out front there are hands raising up from the depths and twisted demon faces. Inside, a mural of a demon filled with pop culture icons faces the Buddha and nirvana. Google this place- I was astounded. We continued on another few hours to stop at our first guest house, which was my own personal depth of hell. The room was filled with spider webs and it appeared it hadn't been cleaned since the late nineties. The floor was gross, the bathroom nasty, and the pillows had black mold. I cursed my choice to book this journey that had booked this guesthouse for us. I thank my uncle Ted and Wendy for the mosquito net- its little mesh barrier saved me that night. I am not sure if my nightmares that evening were any worse than the reality of that hellpit.

We woke up early the next day and after going through Thai immigration we hopped a little boat and arrived in Laos. Everyone was wandering around, barely anyone there spoke English (other than the other tourists) and an hour later we had our visas and were on our way! Once we arrived at the next tour agency they took our passports, assured us they would be back in ten minutes, and drove off to buy slow boat tickets. Forty minutes later and sans passport I'm starting to lose my shit, yet most of the other people were just drinking Lao beer (it's 10:30 am) and hanging out. No one drank the snakes blood they also had for sale. So I keep it together and wait it out, not having a clue where i even am. Another 20 minutes later we finally get our passports back and tickets. We arrive at the slow boat and are seated at the back. Great! Right by the engine, which is far louder than any concert or compostable sunchips bag.

The boat seats about 80 people and their bags. It is also the home of the Laos people who run it, with a tiny makeshift bedroom in the back. It's open, with wooden sides, it's long, and doesn't look very reliable. The seats look like they were taken from an old bus and the engine is uncovered in the back- right next to the one bathroom. Once everyone is seated on the boat it almost looks like we are level with the water, which was a wild sensation. Embrace the adventure and we're off! The scenery of Laos from the Mekong is beyond incredible- craggy rocks jut out splicing through the waters of the River alongside sandy banks. Foothills and mountains taper off in layers, dominating on either side of the river. The land is misty and dense with untamed jungle and unruly plant life in every shade of green. Vines trickle down from giant trees, fighting for sunlight amongst the forest top. Long since abandoned fishing poles and bamboo huts dot the landscape, as villages are seen from time to time. Children from local villages splash in the playground of their Mekong as women bend to clean their woks and pans. I truly felt a sense of exploration and complete tranquility. Then, all of the sudden, there is a bunch of screaming in Lao, the boat drifts right next to those jagged rocks, and we crash right into them along the left side of the boat. The whole boat goes silent, until one girl yells out "is this like titanic 2?!"

After it is determined there is no serious damage we continued onward, the mood dampened just slightly. Everyone is relieved when pull up to our second stop. A Lao man jumps on the boat and immediately begins offering various drugs. Thanks, but no thanks. Our second guest house is quite better than the first and thanks to Lisa Garbin I knew not to order the "happy shake" at dinner that night. Happy shakes, happy pancakes, and all other foods starting with the word happy are to be avoided- I was just happy to be ashore.

The next day we hopped back on the boat for another eight hour journey. We had better seats, good snacks, and no accidents with the rocks! The scenery continued to humble me and Brad was the best company I could have asked for. The boat was filled with a funny combination of people and we met a few new friends along the way. We arrived in Luang Prabang just in time for sunset, and our Mekong river adventure had come to a close.

We ate a wonderful street food buffet dinner costing each of us $1.50 and called it a night. I did notice however that I was incredibly land sick and could not stop feeling like I was rocking once I got off that boat. You win some, you lose some. Luang Prabang, we are so glad to be here.

Slow boat living

The last few days brad and I spent in Chiang Mai were spectacular. We attended the international horticulture festival, known as Royal Flora! It was like visiting the Disney World of plants, complete with an "orchid zoo" and a 5-D lights and water show with fireworks. I was more pumped than any Thai child there and jumped up and down when the show was complete! Then we saw a lights parade and went on our merry way. We were also lucky enough to watch a performance by Ingrid's stellar group, the Ichy band! I love the live music scene in Chiang Mai.

I had a negative moment a few days ago when I refused to feed a poorly dressed Caucasian drag queen a bite of my pie off my fork, but all was redeemed last night when Brad and I stumbled upon the ladyboy cabaret show! We accidentally found ourselves in the red light Go-go area of Chiang Mai (masaaaaage anyone?) and as I was turning around to leave we saw those delightful girlies giving it their all onstage. We only stayed for a song, but will be back for more upon our return to Thailand. Much to Brad's chagrin he has agreed to accompany me. Best fiancé ever!

Tomorrow we head on a two day boat journey down the mighty Mekong river to Luang Prabang, Laos! This is totally out of my comfort zone but I'm down for the adventure. Those nasty Mosquitos best stay away.

I will report back in a few days to give boat details. Dramamine- check! Xo

Eating bugs and blessings from monks

 Brad, above, playing leaves vs rocks with the monks

 Brad ate four different types of buys.  The cicada above was the best tasting apparently.

 Grasshopper.  It made the crunch like skeleton knuckles cracking.  I couldn't even shop or eat after this.  He also consumed a cricket and a silkworm, which he described had the consistency of mashed potato flakes.

 The bird whisperer!

 If you are bad children santa will bring you deep fried chicken heads and feet!  He knows when you have been naughty and nice....

 We woke up early and went to feed the monks in honor of our ancestors.  This one is for you Tutu....

This one is for my grandfather, lovingly known as Cotton. 

Brad also did some for his ancestors.

Beach shot from Koh Chang during a hazy gorgeous day.

Good luck, bad luck, and a little in between!

Chiang Mai and lovin life

Once it was time to leave the island we travelled all day by ferry and mini bus from Koh Chang to Bangkok and I was finally able to get a good night's sleep.  Then, we woke up the next morning and tried to book an overnight train for the following night- no such luck.  We were told if we wanted to get to Chiang Mai we had to leave that same night and catch an overnight sleeper train.  Ugh!  I was frustrated from the constant travel but once we got on the train and got moving it wasn't so bad.  I opted for the top bunk and Brad slept on the bunk below me- our "cabin mates" were a crazy Canadian named Jeffrey and a Thai man named Ong who made fun of Jeffery's large girth for most of the trip.  He would make these jokes about Jeffery tipping the train and then laugh hilariously- awkward and yet funny.  Thirteen hours later we finally arrived in Chiang Mai, one of my favorite places in the world.  I had booked a guest house based on the advice of Trip Advisor and when we arrived I was just so glad to be there that we threw our bags down and quickly left for breakfast.  Exhaustion set in and when we went back to our room that afternoon we were greeted with several surprises.  First of all, ants in the bathroom.  Not that big of a deal as I have grown accustomed to random ants helping themselves to my accommodation.  Even though they are not paying for the place I figure they were probably here long before I arrived.  But when I went to pull back the sheets I found that a yetti had previously occupied the room as well.  There were hair on top, and underneath, of the sheets.  I am not kidding- there were at least 30 hairs in various colors and sizes.  Also there were hairs littering the tile laminate of the floor.  Brad promptly went and grabbed the manager, who made someone come and "change the sheets" even though I still found another few hairs later.  Okay, I'm hanging on, I'm okay.  As I sat underneath the one fluorescent light bulb on the ceiling I contemplated how so many people on trip advisor got it so wrong.  The door didn't even close all the way and there were at least six mosquitoes floating around the room.  I finally laid down (in my little travel sheet) and then the real pain began.  Construction was taking place right next door and I began to hear non stop sawing through metal.  There was both power sawing, and manual sawing.  It was relentless and I felt like I was suddenly under some sort of torture plan.  I will tell you whatever you want to know please, please just make the sawing stop.  I went into the bathroom only to realize there was NO glass, only a screen covering the window with a tiny sheet of corrugated plastic.  Now I see why they required us to pay two nights in advance.  This place was like a tiny piece of hell.  I went downstairs, politely asked for my money back for the second night, and he agreed only after charging me a 50baht room cleaning fee.  I had to just laugh at this point, and we got the hell out of there.  Highs and lows.

I swore to stay positive and it paid off- the next day turned out to be great.  We booked a great little guest house with a balcony and air conditioning.  We went to visit one of the many Wats (temples) found in Chiang Mai and it ended up also being a charity school for monks of various ages.  I tromped through the front gates, went and found the director, and explained I was a teacher in America and wanted to look around the school.  He graciously agreed and Brad and I were free to wander around visit with the kids.  Thank you, Jeff Garbin, for one of the best life lessons I ever learned- always ask because the worst thing someone can tell you is no!  We ended up sitting with a group of thirty or so boys training to be monks (all dressed in the orange robes) as they chatted and laughed with us, stealing glances at my bare shoulders every so often!  I wasn't planning on going to such a spiritual  place when I dressed in a tank top.  They were funny and reminded me of teens in America, laughing and playing around with one another.  They were very sweet and tried to answer our questions about living in Thailand and their futures.  These are the memories and experiences I treasure the most- the times I am allowed into people's lives and go off the beaten tourist path. There were no other "white people" there and no one wanted anything, other than to practice English for a little while.  After we finally moved on I went and took a nap, Brad got a massage while I got a facial, and then we went and ate a $7 meal.  Classic!

Yesterday we rented bikes and tooled around the city for hours.  I have been told after our last accident we are done with motorbikes (Brad threatened to call my parents if I tried) and so we had a blast riding something we could control.  We went to another Wat by the river and lit candles with prayers for happiness.  Then we saw a man who was holding pigeons and wandered over to see what it was about.  You would just put food in your hand and they would fly over and land on you.  Brad was pretty good about it and had four pigeons on his arm at one time.  Pictures to follow soon!  I only held one before I had a freakout about bird flu and the sideye they kept giving me.  I just don't trust things with beaks who can give you the one eyed business.  

In Thailand there are all sorts of religious things people do for good luck and redemption.  Donations, lighting candles, buying packages for monks are a few of the more "normal" things.  Buying a bird and releasing it from a cage is a funny one (remember that Beth?) but my new favorite includes catfish.  While Brad was being the bird whisperer a couple came down by the river with a bag full of catfish.  I politely asked them if that was their dinner and they looked at me like I was nuts and replied it was for good luck.  I laughed and they invited Brad to help them release the catfish back into the water.  He obliged, and the couple stood praying for a moment.  As a Western person I was struck by this act.  So, someone catches some catfish, someone else comes along and buys them to release them back into the water, so that someone can catch them again and sell them (or fry them up at the market).  One of those funny little things that makes me love Thailand even more.  However, if this act makes someone feel happy and fulfilled then I am all about it.

We met up with Ingrid last night,  a friend from Denver who is living in Chiang Mai for the past few years.  It was so wonderful to see her and feel like I had a friend from home.  She took us to a few of her favorite places and we also got to meet some of her lovely bandmates.  All in all it has been a wonderful few days.  I have not even talked about the amazing food we have been eating, as that will have to be a whole blog in itself.  The fresh fruit shakes I drink every day fill my heart with such joy.  I wish I could put some pictures online but the gentleman next to me just warned me that the internet cafe gave his USB a virus- no thanks.  Hopefully I can find a safe computer sometime soon to upload a few for you to enjoy.  Tonight we are off to the Saturday night market for some delicious street food!  Keep living, loving, and enjoying life.

Things that make you go hmmm #3

Hey now I'm back with a thought for you. In life, those of you who are living one correctly, know full well that it is a series of ups and downs. On this trip it seems that such a fact is more pronounced or maybe just easier to track. I've kind of developed a sort of mantra for this and that is to ride the high waves as long and far as possible and swim out of the low gullys.

It's become painfully obvious that shit happens while we romp around outside our own country. Maybe it's that we don't speak the language or that we have destinations in mind that we are trying to get to. Or maybe it's because we have standards we grew up with and our minds are trained differently. Or sometimes it's just life.

For whatever reason one moment you will be on a beautiful beach the next you'll be stung by a jelly fish on the family jewels. One day you're climbing a mountain the next you're in a motor bike crash ( it wasn't that bad this time and we are both okay). One minute you are feeding elephants palm branches the next you see a dead dog lying on the road. Even the ocean is literally hot and cold from one second to the next. One second you are happy to be traveling to your next destination and the next your hypothermic because the window of the train is busted. You know stuff like that. Perseverance is key and so is being ready for adversity. I guess I see it as swimming practice. Hmmmm.

We are riding a high wave today after swimming out of a long bus ride yesterday and are hopeful the wave will let us ride through Laos, but I think we all know it'll prolly be normal ups and downs. Traveling isn't always peaches and cream, and sometimes it's about your reaction to the peaches and the punches. Peace y'all.

Miss you guys. Brad.