A few days ago we signed up for a several hour bamboo raft ride from Guilin to Yangshuo. We happily paid our money and set off for our three hour tour. Turns out when we arrived at the pier we were only on our bamboo raft for thirty minutes and then herded onto a bigger overcrowded boat with the rest of the tourist cattle. Not only was it not what we expected but we paid more (and actually less too) than other people on the boat for the same tour. Big rip off? True it was not a Gilligans Island catastrophe and we still had a lovely time but the fact is you don't always get what you pay for. Welcome to Asia! We present to you some of the best scams, touts, and rip offs Asia has to offer compiled from stories from fellow travelers. Now that you have already read Brad's earlier sellers manual you, too, can read the following to become a con artist in Asia (or avoid travel scams during future adventures).
1. The "tea" scam (mostly China). Friendly person approaches speaking English. Offers to help you, find place, etc and suggests you stop somewhere for quick drink along the way. Thinking you have met a new friend you agree and they offer you some tea and before you and your partner know it some muscled dude comes to say you owe $50 apiece. Just happened to an English couple we met in Beijing.
2. The "wine" scam (mostly China, but happens elsewhere) Like the tea scam but involves usually single men. You meet a lady who speaks good English and she asks you to go for a drink. Little did you know you have bought her a 100 year old glass of wine and now owe your arm and a leg. She's just not that into you, only your money and her cut of it.
3. The "tour" scam (everywhere). You are almost always being ripped off paying for a tour. Whether you are trying to hike in Chiang Mai, a Mekong cruise in Lao, or take a boat to Yangshuo you are probably paying too much due to your Caucasian ancestry. Brad refers to it as skin tax. We even get charged too much when we buy fruit. We have become overly suspicious and are now guilty of "over-bartering" even when bartering for price is not an option and no one is attempting to scam us. The tour company or hotel just assumes you are passing through and that they wont hear from you again. Wrong- those people who sold me that boat tour have not heard the last of me. Guess what suckers I will be back in Guilin today so we will be having a chat. Don't make me be "nice like a cobra".
4. "Art Shop" student (China). Friendly citizen begins a conversation about where you are from (a very normal question). Oh, what a coincidence they are going there to study! Next year! How funny is that... And they also have an art shop right around the corner if you want to visit. We have not yet figured out what the end result is (rob, steal, or art at an outrageous price) but we aren't going to head there to find out.
5. Marble shop, Silk Shop, Silver Shop (India). Friendly cab driver asks if you like to shop or if you want to see how ____ is made. You ask him to just go to a market and he tells you he knows just the place, no market around. Before you know it you are inside of a silk shop being served Chai tea and shown silk swatches. Cost twice as much cause your driver gets also commission. "oh, just look you don't have to buy!" says the driver. Let me tell you when you don't want to buy the nice demeanor certainly changes. We learned to give our destination and follow it up with, "And no stops!" We did, however, end up with a little marble elephant before we wised up. No market my ass.
6. Tuk tuk gas stamps (Thailand and Cambodia). Amazing deal on a ride if you will just stop by this shop or tailor super quick so the driver can get a gas stamp for bringing the owner of the store potential prey. We have literally crawled out of a tuk tuk after refusing to go in and the driver was attempting to block us with his body. I'll show you a gas stamp buddy...
7. Poo Shoe (India) I'm not making this one up- happened to an Australian we met. An Indian shoe shiner suddenly points out you have a bunch of poo on your shoe and they will clean it for you with their little shoe cleaning kit. What you don't realize is that this is no coincidence and someone else from the poo gang just flicked it there while you weren't looking. You have fallen in the trap and are about to get charged 500 rupees for getting it cleaned off. Our new friend said he earned the nickname "shit shoe" after experiencing this gem. Animal or human feces? Your guess is as good as mine.
8. Powdered Milk ( Cambodia) A hungry child or poor mother approaches you begging for money. When you say no they then ask if you will please just buy some powdered milk for the poor child. Tug at the heartstrings and tug hard! What you don't know is that the shop is in on it and after you buy said powdered milk the person/child sells it back to the store for half price. Big profits here. We were asked for this by several kids and parents but instead I would just offer them a few bites of whatever we were eating. I do appreciate a young entrepreneurial spirit though- keep hustlin.
9. TAT office (Thailand). TAT is supposed to be the official tour office that is licensed to sell tours. Always ask for a TAT number when purchasing anything and I would recommend you shop around, look at reviews, and do your homework. Just cause it has a TAT sticker on the window doesn't mean its legit. Some people are taken to fake TAT offices and scammed for hundreds of dollars. If there are a bunch of other white people in there that doesn't mean its for real. It doesn't make it official because someone says it is. In any country just try to buy train, bus, etc straight from the station whenever possible.
10. Motorbikes Rental (take your pick of countries) You hand over your passport as a deposit (or large sum of cash) and take off for a day around your motorbike or even bicycle in some cases. When you return they are horrified and demand you pay for some scratch that has suddenly and supposedly occurred while in your care. In cases they have demanded ridiculous sums of money or police involvement. They still have your passport too so you are stuck. Some older dude we met in Thailand fought some thugs with a wrench over a "scratched" motorbike. Luckily for us when we wrecked the motorbike and legitimately messed it up it was owned by an Englishman and he was quite reasonable if not kind about the matter. Thank god, cause he also was enormous and enjoyed kickboxing.
11. Taxi Fare (everywhere) Always agree on price before you get in a cab or make them turn on the meter. Tuk-tuks everywhere are notorious for giant rip offs and while they are tremendously fun ending the ride with a yelling match is not enjoyable. Taxis everywhere in the world can be a rip off it seems. Always trying to milk the meter for all it's worth!
12. Fake visas (Thailand to Cambodia) Crossing the border from Thailand into Cambodia is a nightmare. It's a weird stretch of no man's land and everyone is trying to sell Cambodian visas. You cannot, I repeat cannot buy a Cambodian visa before you leave Thailand's border. But before you know it you have departed the bus in Thailand and have been shuffled into an office and are filling out paperwork to pay double the price of the actual visa cost. After about thirty seconds we bounced straight out of that office in Thailand and across the border. Once you cross there are more "official" places waiting to charge you to get a visa in Cambodia- skip them all and head for the real government office. Poipet is the armpit of Asia and land of scams. We opted to get our visa in Bangkok to skip that nonsense.
13. Tuk tuk to preferred guest house/hostel (Cambodia). Everyone gets a cut. You don't have a place to stay? The tuk-tuk will suggest a GREAT place and take you to their preferred hostel and when you agree to stay they get commission. Not the worst scam around- in some cases everyone actually ends up happy. Unless somehow bed bugs are involved.
14. Stolen remote/room deposit scam (Vietnam specifically but elsewhere too) When you check out of your room you are told your remote is missing, a towel gone, etc. You are then expected to pay for said item. This happened to an Australian couple who came back from a late night and found the remote missing. After calling the hotel on this and freaking out on management the hotel finally backed down and replaced the "missing" remote. We haven't experienced this firsthand thankfully although someone in housekeeping did once drink my iced tea and then refilled it with water in hopes I wouldn't notice. Hey betch- the seal wasn't cracked yet I know what you were up to.
15. Beggars network (all over) Who you give to is not necessarily who receives. That is true everywhere. We will not even get into the dark side of this- we have all seen Slumdog Millionaire.
16. Money for pictures- taking and receiving (India and all countries with hill tribes/villages) A picture is not free. The nice guard in India wants money after taking a photo for you- it doesn't matter that he was just standing there with nothing else to do. The snake charmer is going to invite you to sit next to him and then after you snap a couple shots he will demand 300 rupees. Absolutely not. I will never forget the little 10 year old Hmong girl in Laos who after flashing me a smile while I took her picture demand "Now you pay money! Picture no free!"You speak the truth little lady. I will however willingly pay 10 yuan to see one of the "long hair" women in China undo her hair if I get to take a video. Pictures of "exotic" things will cost you.
17. Just cause you've paid admission doesn't mean it's free (all countries, especially China). You paid 750 rupees to get into the Taj Mahal and you thought your shoe covers were free? Think again. Although we have found this all over Asia China has been the biggest culprit. Nature costs money folks, especially if it's man made. You pay to get into a park only to pay to get into the attraction within the park. Then you might have to pay to get into something else and don't you forget about the souvenir photo at the end! Rock shaped like an elephant? You pay to see. Want to go to a scenic viewpoint? Pay now! Temple to pray? Pay! Picture with a peacock? F you pay me!
Just like in America be mindful of pickpockets, smart about money, and keep your stuff locked up safely. Its not all bad news by any means and the majority of people are just living their life. Asia is also the land of unfixed prices and bargaining and when I'm in the right mood I quite enjoy the game of retail tennis- back and forth we go with the prices. It's all about being fair, continuing to smile, and remembering that we are a guest in their country while taking no prisoners. We have gotten some amazing deals along the way. The good things about Asia far outweigh the bad and I think you can find rotten apples all over the world. Basic rules: use your head and trust your gut. We hope you have enjoyed today's lesson at the school of hard knocks- that will be $27 apiece payable to me. $50 apiece if you drank the tea. Thank you! Pay now or deal with my thug (Brad).
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Yangshuo, China
Welcome to one of the most beautiful parts of China- Yangshuo. Filled with limestone karsts, small villages, and shimmering rice paddies this feels like a walk back in time. Today we biked to Dragon's Bridge and then took a bamboo raft (literally raft made from bamboo tied together) and floated down the Yulong river for a few hours. Life is rough.
Enjoy a few photos of our current neighborhood.
Enjoy a few photos of our current neighborhood.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Dragons Back Rice Terraces
Introducing the Dragons Back Rice Terraces in Longsheng County China. We stayed in a little village high up in the mountains with the lovely "long hair" tribe (as they call them). No wifi, basic log cabin room, and we ate meals in someones home each day.
We had a fabulous few days hiking miles around these amazing mountain rice terraces. Google them, as these pictures do not do this place justice. Due to the rain I didn't really bring my iPod out hiking so this is the view from our room. Also- happy belated mothers day to two of the best moms on the planet! We love you both very much.
Today we head off to Yangshuo on a bamboo boat- wish us luck!
We had a fabulous few days hiking miles around these amazing mountain rice terraces. Google them, as these pictures do not do this place justice. Due to the rain I didn't really bring my iPod out hiking so this is the view from our room. Also- happy belated mothers day to two of the best moms on the planet! We love you both very much.
Today we head off to Yangshuo on a bamboo boat- wish us luck!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
All you need is love... (and a friend)
Today was a better day. Perhaps it was because I woke up unwilling to be filled with self pity or perhaps I just really needed a good nights sleep after the epic train ride. Either way I woke up to the sound of a pounding thunderstorm and felt as if the rain had washed away the negativity of the previous day. We had a lovely breakfast overlooking the Li River in Guilin and I even treated myself to a double espresso.
I have been thinking lately about interactions with people and the relationships we form based on experiences. Why is it that sharing something with someone else makes the experience seem more powerful? Be it a beautiful sunset, impressive mountain, or frustrating restaurant encounter it somehow seems to hold more truth when we have someone else there with us to validate our feelings about the occurrence. Maybe it's because beauty and pain are hard to put into words and we want someone there who just understands. Maybe its simply that humans are social beings and we like the company of others. Perhaps we need to hear the feelings of others to better formulate our own opinions about what we have seen. Having the ability to share an experience with another makes us feel less alone in the world. Take my bad mood the other day for example- even though I didn't need to I felt like venting to you through this blog would somehow help me to feel better.
I have had some incredibly interesting interactions with people while on this trip. Some are really great and meaningful while others have been irritating and frustrating. Every step of the way I have been so glad Brad has been here to experience this alongside me. He has been my sounding board, voice of reason, companion, and pep coach during this adventure. So far we have found that in China people are either indifferent to us or incredibly curious. Take the train station for example- prior to boarding we got tons of stares and everyone was very curious about what we were doing there. I dont think I have ever had so many people watch me eat a piece of fruit. Oooh, watch the Caucasian girl eat that fruit...so weird. Ooooh watch the Caucasian man zip up the backpack...strange. Oooh watch the Caucasian couple sit there and wait for the train...they are so patient. It was like being a monkey at the Denver zoo. After awhile of dealing with the stares Brad decided to do a little impromptu Vaudeville dance number ending with jazz hands that the crowd seemed to enjoy. Even waiting for the train becomes an experience. I suppose people are just interested in something that is different than their daily reality.
I often find when looking back at memories from the trip it's the different encounters with people that stand out the most, sometimes even more than the attractions we have seen. While on the train we met an elderly Chinese man named Huang who obviously wanted some new friends to share the train experience with. He was in our tiny four person cabin and although he spoke not a word of English that was not going to stop him. He was extremely sweet and very concerned we did not go hungry on the train. He made us eat his apples, cakes, and gave us a big bowl of instant soup. Keep in mind we also had our own food but he insisted by pushing it in our hands. Through the help of our translation book we explained we were from America which he did not like. He said a bunch of words in Chinese accompanied by head shakes- he had some serious grievances about America and obviously thought China was far superior. He made it clear he liked us though and he took multiple videos of us on his phone and gave us a gift of a new deck of playing cards. Perhaps in that 20 hours we helped change his mind about Americans in general. The picture below is Huang and Brad- best bunkies! I will probably forget about the uncomfortable beds, lack of privacy, and disgusting bathrooms (I was practicing self dehydration while aboard) but I know I will remember that smiling Chinese man that learned how to "high five" from Brad.
I think that the urge to share experiences with others begins at a very early age. I noticed when I taught preschool how willing kids are to just go up to another child with no fear of rejection. Adults could learn a great deal about bravery from kids in that aspect . I met one such girl on the train who was looking for a new friend. She was a three year old Chinese ball of fire. She saw me in my little cabin and told her grandfather she wanted to "go play with the pretty girl" (her grandfather translated) and play we did. Her photo is also below. A lot of kids here in China are very shy and fearful of us so this was a welcome change. She rejected Brad initially , calling him a "grandpa" in Chinese because of his beard. She loved all my jewelry but thought Brad's skull ring was "scary, not beautiful". Sister had a serious sense of style with her pigtails and hello kitty sweatshirt. We watched a Jetsons cartoon episode on my IPod, drew some pictures, and she tried to get me to let her watch Sex and the City but I assured her it was not right for her age bracket even though she was a little spitfire ahead of her years. She was so cute I even allowed her sit on my lap while she gnawed dried shrimps which completely grossed me out. She was probably interested in me mostly because I am different from her average playmate but we had a good time laughing together and counting to three in English.
Meals here in China are truly a shared experience. No one orders their own entree and dinner is a very social time with lots of loud laughs and hand gestures. I have yet to see someone Chinese eating alone at a restaurant. I am always pointing out crazy food to Brad and I'm so glad I have someone to laugh about it with. I have brought up the love for chicken feet (even sold packaged at convenience stores cause you just might need it on the go) but it doesn't stop there. Today we watched some guy sell river snakes and turtles he had caught from the polluted river for people to take home and cook. Intestines, tendons, birds nest soup, ducks tongue, and tripe are some popular menu items. They love their fermented eggs- yum yum yum! Apparently Chinese people even go so far as to eat-gasp- pizza with mayonnaise! My mind cannot wrap around the crazy. At least the people we see eating together generally seem to be enjoying themselves and sharing the experience together. Even in America it is rare to see someone eating dinner alone. Why is that such a rare phenomenon?
China is also land of the massive tour groups. In a country with 1.3 billion people its easy to understand why privacy is a luxury and it's easier (and perhaps for many more fun) to join the group. Today we forked over some dough and headed to a lookout mountain point/park. Everything, and I mean everything, costs money to do here in China. It can get really frustrating because sometimes you pay to get in to an "attraction" and then have to pay even more money to see yet another attraction within the attraction but we have gotten pretty good about finding the humor in it all. Sometimes it's worth handing over some money to get to experience a gorgeous temple or a little bit of nature and it makes me realize how spoiled I am to be living in Colorado and getting "free nature". We met a Canadian there who was very eager to talk to us about his experience in China thus far and where we have been. He told us he was glad to meet other North Americans. It was fun to be there with Brad and all the tour groups, laughing together as we all got stuck in a torrential downpour.
Speaking of companionship and the beauty of sharing experiences I also have to take a moment to say how proud I am to be an American today. I just heard that Obama "came out" in favor of marriage equality and I could not be happier. I passionately believe that two consensual adults who are in love should have every right to get married regardless of their gender. Getting engaged to Brad was one of the happiest moments of my life and I do not think anyone should be denied the right to that same freedom of joy. I am proud to say that I found my soul mate to marry and I wish each and every American (and elsewhere for that matter) that same good fortune to find their great love. I cannot believe in this day and age some people are still fighting this issue especially since marriage should be a choice between only the two individuals entering into the union. Lets choose to spend our time and energy solving more relevant issues at hand. I dont remember if I have already touched on this but when i tell people I am from America time and time again their faces light up as they call out, "Obama!" It would seem he is a symbol of hope for many people worldwide and today he is giving hope to the LBGT community. Let's be honest here as well- more weddings can only be beneficial for the economy. I am not trying to use this blog as a political platform or offend anyone with my personal views but rather I simply love love and have to express my happiness at the news I heard today.
Now that I have climbed off the pedestal of equality I wanted to thank you for taking this literary journey with me- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's been an absolute pleasure having you along for the ride and being able to share my words with you. Another day in Guilin and then we head off to the villages of the Dragon's Back Rice Terraces in Longsheng County, China! Don't pack a heavy bag though apparently its a 40 minute uphill climb to get to our next hostel. Onwards and upwards!
I have been thinking lately about interactions with people and the relationships we form based on experiences. Why is it that sharing something with someone else makes the experience seem more powerful? Be it a beautiful sunset, impressive mountain, or frustrating restaurant encounter it somehow seems to hold more truth when we have someone else there with us to validate our feelings about the occurrence. Maybe it's because beauty and pain are hard to put into words and we want someone there who just understands. Maybe its simply that humans are social beings and we like the company of others. Perhaps we need to hear the feelings of others to better formulate our own opinions about what we have seen. Having the ability to share an experience with another makes us feel less alone in the world. Take my bad mood the other day for example- even though I didn't need to I felt like venting to you through this blog would somehow help me to feel better.
I have had some incredibly interesting interactions with people while on this trip. Some are really great and meaningful while others have been irritating and frustrating. Every step of the way I have been so glad Brad has been here to experience this alongside me. He has been my sounding board, voice of reason, companion, and pep coach during this adventure. So far we have found that in China people are either indifferent to us or incredibly curious. Take the train station for example- prior to boarding we got tons of stares and everyone was very curious about what we were doing there. I dont think I have ever had so many people watch me eat a piece of fruit. Oooh, watch the Caucasian girl eat that fruit...so weird. Ooooh watch the Caucasian man zip up the backpack...strange. Oooh watch the Caucasian couple sit there and wait for the train...they are so patient. It was like being a monkey at the Denver zoo. After awhile of dealing with the stares Brad decided to do a little impromptu Vaudeville dance number ending with jazz hands that the crowd seemed to enjoy. Even waiting for the train becomes an experience. I suppose people are just interested in something that is different than their daily reality.
I often find when looking back at memories from the trip it's the different encounters with people that stand out the most, sometimes even more than the attractions we have seen. While on the train we met an elderly Chinese man named Huang who obviously wanted some new friends to share the train experience with. He was in our tiny four person cabin and although he spoke not a word of English that was not going to stop him. He was extremely sweet and very concerned we did not go hungry on the train. He made us eat his apples, cakes, and gave us a big bowl of instant soup. Keep in mind we also had our own food but he insisted by pushing it in our hands. Through the help of our translation book we explained we were from America which he did not like. He said a bunch of words in Chinese accompanied by head shakes- he had some serious grievances about America and obviously thought China was far superior. He made it clear he liked us though and he took multiple videos of us on his phone and gave us a gift of a new deck of playing cards. Perhaps in that 20 hours we helped change his mind about Americans in general. The picture below is Huang and Brad- best bunkies! I will probably forget about the uncomfortable beds, lack of privacy, and disgusting bathrooms (I was practicing self dehydration while aboard) but I know I will remember that smiling Chinese man that learned how to "high five" from Brad.
I think that the urge to share experiences with others begins at a very early age. I noticed when I taught preschool how willing kids are to just go up to another child with no fear of rejection. Adults could learn a great deal about bravery from kids in that aspect . I met one such girl on the train who was looking for a new friend. She was a three year old Chinese ball of fire. She saw me in my little cabin and told her grandfather she wanted to "go play with the pretty girl" (her grandfather translated) and play we did. Her photo is also below. A lot of kids here in China are very shy and fearful of us so this was a welcome change. She rejected Brad initially , calling him a "grandpa" in Chinese because of his beard. She loved all my jewelry but thought Brad's skull ring was "scary, not beautiful". Sister had a serious sense of style with her pigtails and hello kitty sweatshirt. We watched a Jetsons cartoon episode on my IPod, drew some pictures, and she tried to get me to let her watch Sex and the City but I assured her it was not right for her age bracket even though she was a little spitfire ahead of her years. She was so cute I even allowed her sit on my lap while she gnawed dried shrimps which completely grossed me out. She was probably interested in me mostly because I am different from her average playmate but we had a good time laughing together and counting to three in English.
Meals here in China are truly a shared experience. No one orders their own entree and dinner is a very social time with lots of loud laughs and hand gestures. I have yet to see someone Chinese eating alone at a restaurant. I am always pointing out crazy food to Brad and I'm so glad I have someone to laugh about it with. I have brought up the love for chicken feet (even sold packaged at convenience stores cause you just might need it on the go) but it doesn't stop there. Today we watched some guy sell river snakes and turtles he had caught from the polluted river for people to take home and cook. Intestines, tendons, birds nest soup, ducks tongue, and tripe are some popular menu items. They love their fermented eggs- yum yum yum! Apparently Chinese people even go so far as to eat-gasp- pizza with mayonnaise! My mind cannot wrap around the crazy. At least the people we see eating together generally seem to be enjoying themselves and sharing the experience together. Even in America it is rare to see someone eating dinner alone. Why is that such a rare phenomenon?
China is also land of the massive tour groups. In a country with 1.3 billion people its easy to understand why privacy is a luxury and it's easier (and perhaps for many more fun) to join the group. Today we forked over some dough and headed to a lookout mountain point/park. Everything, and I mean everything, costs money to do here in China. It can get really frustrating because sometimes you pay to get in to an "attraction" and then have to pay even more money to see yet another attraction within the attraction but we have gotten pretty good about finding the humor in it all. Sometimes it's worth handing over some money to get to experience a gorgeous temple or a little bit of nature and it makes me realize how spoiled I am to be living in Colorado and getting "free nature". We met a Canadian there who was very eager to talk to us about his experience in China thus far and where we have been. He told us he was glad to meet other North Americans. It was fun to be there with Brad and all the tour groups, laughing together as we all got stuck in a torrential downpour.
Speaking of companionship and the beauty of sharing experiences I also have to take a moment to say how proud I am to be an American today. I just heard that Obama "came out" in favor of marriage equality and I could not be happier. I passionately believe that two consensual adults who are in love should have every right to get married regardless of their gender. Getting engaged to Brad was one of the happiest moments of my life and I do not think anyone should be denied the right to that same freedom of joy. I am proud to say that I found my soul mate to marry and I wish each and every American (and elsewhere for that matter) that same good fortune to find their great love. I cannot believe in this day and age some people are still fighting this issue especially since marriage should be a choice between only the two individuals entering into the union. Lets choose to spend our time and energy solving more relevant issues at hand. I dont remember if I have already touched on this but when i tell people I am from America time and time again their faces light up as they call out, "Obama!" It would seem he is a symbol of hope for many people worldwide and today he is giving hope to the LBGT community. Let's be honest here as well- more weddings can only be beneficial for the economy. I am not trying to use this blog as a political platform or offend anyone with my personal views but rather I simply love love and have to express my happiness at the news I heard today.
Now that I have climbed off the pedestal of equality I wanted to thank you for taking this literary journey with me- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's been an absolute pleasure having you along for the ride and being able to share my words with you. Another day in Guilin and then we head off to the villages of the Dragon's Back Rice Terraces in Longsheng County, China! Don't pack a heavy bag though apparently its a 40 minute uphill climb to get to our next hostel. Onwards and upwards!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Big boohoo baby blog
This blog might as well be called complainfest, because Im going to sound like a big venting boo-hooing baby. However I am not keeping a blog to tell travel fairy tales, half truths, or write a self help book so here it is. Sometimes I have horrible days and today feels like one of them. To start with I has to spend 20 hours on a train from Hangzhou to Guilin which is daunting but I really tried to be so positive about it. It all started with an hour long standing room only bus ride to get to the South train station then we paid a ton of money to be crammed into a tiny room (closet) on the train with two other people for 20 hours straight. Yet I continued to tell myself I would stay positive. Oh, then I got a "lady visitor" aboard this delightfully clean (insert extreme sarcasm here) train. Super fun, yet staying positive. Try to see the beauty in the situation and remember that I am going to one of the most beautiful places in China. I typed and typed this great blog about the people I met on the train and the experience of it and the beauty that rushed past me. I wanted to scream when we were running two hours late but forced myself again to just stay calm and know I can't control it. Instead I just typed the blog on my iPod to publish at a later date. Although it was too long for me I did have some really enjoyable experiences on the train. The limestone cliffs and glistening rice paddies were quite spectacular.
We arrived several hours late in Guilin and after yet another bus ride arrived at the hostel and we were pleasantly surprised by the room. We went downstairs and ordered food, as I had eaten only a doughnut so far in the day and it was already 3:00pm. As I take a few bites into my sandwich my teeth suddenly grind against something so hard I thought I chipped a tooth. I pulled out something clearish bits that looked almost like glass or some freaky bone particles and showed it to the server. She goes to get the cook who tells me it's uncooked rice. Rice, I assure you, cannot scratch the wood table like these sharp things could. He immediately took the first sandwich and remade it (which I did not ask for but was greatly appreciated) and thankfully the second one was better. I have a language barrier so I was just chewing lightly and hoping for the best. I managed to get through the rest of meal with all teeth intact.
As we began to walk around Guilin I tried to force myself to feel happy. I was in this beautiful place but just couldn't shake this sense of exhaustion and gloom. We walked around the streets for awhile until Brad found a place to get a haircut. After that we stumbled upon the night market and things really began to look up. I pulled freshwater pearls out of a live oyster and bought some lychees which are one of my favorite fruits. I felt my spirits really begin to lift without forcing them and I found myself happy to be in China once again. Guilin was looking up even though I was still having bizarre motion vertigo from being on the train for so long.
We decided to end the night by going to a cute looking pizza place, called Pizza Papa. We ordered half Hawaiian (for me) half something with peppers for Brad (who hates Hawaiian). All seemed good in the world until the pizza arrived. Instead of normal sauce my half was smeared with some white substance. Those of you who know me well all know my deep hatred for mayonnaise. I'm talking hate here. Sure, I can eat it if it's artfully mixed in to a tuna sandwich but the sight/taste of goopy straight up mayonnaise makes me feel like throwing up. There, all over my Hawaiian masterpiece, was oopy goopy slathered mayonnaise. I retrieved a menu, pointed at the words "tomato sauce" to the server, and asked why I had mayonnaise smeared all over the pizza. After a few minutes of confusion she consulted with the manager several times and finally figured out the translation on their menu was wrong but the manager insisted they could not do anything. Apparently in Chinese characters it said mayonnaise but clear as day in English it said tomato sauce. Brad and I both stared in disbelief at her. My mouth physically could not eat that hot mayo mess and they has already made us pay prior to eating. I was having terrible luck with food today.
We explained that it was not our fault their menu said the wrong thing and if they did not want to remake the pizza they could give us a partial refund, since Brad's half was fine. No problem either way it was their choice. This poor waitress was going back and forth between us and the lady manager, who began yelling from ten feet away while sitting at another table and wouldn't she even look at us. Based on the scene she was creating and the stares from the other customers I knew she was saying nasty business about us in Mandarin. She kept flipping her hands at us like we were dirty trash she wanted to take out and yelling all fast. The apologetic waitress went back and forth as she apologized to us in English that there was nothing she could do. I could handle the 20 hour train, I could handle the 1 hour standing bus ride with my 30 lb backpack, I could handle getting my lady visitor on a dirty train, and I could deal with biting into sharp objects but damn it all I was not paying for gross hot mayonnaise pizza. Enough was enough.
As the manager turned away and began to talk on her phone (please stop for a moment and try to imagine a manager of a restaurant in America sitting at one of their tables talking trash and yelling on the phone about a customer sitting ten feet away) brad finally threatened to go over there. I took matters into my own hands. Staying totally calm I went and just sat at her table and just stared at her, smiling the entire time. After a minute of this she knew i wasn't going anywhere. She wouldn't even look at me but finally motioned the server over again. She spoke in rapid fire Mandarin and the server then informed me they would be remaking my pizza after all. I thanked her very nicely and the manager got up and huffed off to sit outside. I could not believe anyone could treat a customer so poorly especially when it was clear that they had made the mistake. I have rarely ever been treated with such disregard the way I was tonight, especially when I stayed as nice as I did and never raised my voice. I'm proud of myself for not ever lowering to her level of rudeness even though it was tempting to yell back. After a few minutes the manager came back inside.
As we waited for the new pizza to finish cooking Brad suddenly noticed a long tail poking through the fake moss overhead covering the ceiling beams. Yes, ladies and gentlemen you guessed it! A huge rat was perched above us probably waiting to feast on the nasty mayonnaise pizza we left behind. I felt physically ill watching it's fat squirmy tail dip below the fake foliage as that creature sat above. Then the pizza finished cooking and we quickly asked to get it to go rather than sitting there another moment. As we were leaving after profusely thanking the waitress for helping us translate Brad turned around and went back up to the counter. He gave the waitress a thumbs up and said, "you were great and very nice. Thanks for your help." He then turned to the manager who had made me feel so upset and said,"But you are very rude! You were rude to her and I didn't like it." He gave her a big thumbs down and the waitress started to snicker. We both turned and walked out the door. I hope that rat falls on her head. If this was America I would report her to the board of health and safety yet here in China there really isn't anything I can do other than thank my white knight Brad for defending my honor with the thumbs down sign.
We arrived back at the hostel and ate the pizza (rat and all I was not throwing it away after all that hassle) and I had a chance to calm down. I rarely care what others think of me yet it was really upsetting and made me feel vulnerable when she made such a scene. I didn't like being talked about in a language everyone else around me understands- at least have the decency to say it to my face in English and then I probably won't care at all. To add a cherry on top of this day I got online to add the finishing touches to my earlier eloquent blog about the train ride experience when the iPod malfunctioned and the whole thing erased. Everything. All of my hard work was gone in a second along with my continued attempt at a positive attitude. Poof!
I feel like that book Alexander and the Terrible,Horrible,No Good Very Bad Day. I wish I could remember how it ends but I can't- instead my story will end with me going to sleep and being grateful that tomorrow is a new beginning that won't involve trains, carrying backpacks, mean managers, mayonnaise, or rats. Here's hoping...
I warned you this wasn't pretty. Such is life whether in Colorado, Timbuktu, or China. Its not like anything catastrophic happened whatsoever- rather a series of irritating events that combined with hormones to make a frustrating day. This trip isn't all about sunshine and roses. At least the bad days are few and far between and maybe I just need to look a little bit deeper. Perhaps today is just like that yucky looking oyster from earlier tonight- it looks dirty on the outside and inside is a lot of squishy stuff to get through but hidden within are also just a few beautiful pearls. Hopefully Guilin proves to be a pearl and I bet it will be a lot shinier in the morning.
We arrived several hours late in Guilin and after yet another bus ride arrived at the hostel and we were pleasantly surprised by the room. We went downstairs and ordered food, as I had eaten only a doughnut so far in the day and it was already 3:00pm. As I take a few bites into my sandwich my teeth suddenly grind against something so hard I thought I chipped a tooth. I pulled out something clearish bits that looked almost like glass or some freaky bone particles and showed it to the server. She goes to get the cook who tells me it's uncooked rice. Rice, I assure you, cannot scratch the wood table like these sharp things could. He immediately took the first sandwich and remade it (which I did not ask for but was greatly appreciated) and thankfully the second one was better. I have a language barrier so I was just chewing lightly and hoping for the best. I managed to get through the rest of meal with all teeth intact.
As we began to walk around Guilin I tried to force myself to feel happy. I was in this beautiful place but just couldn't shake this sense of exhaustion and gloom. We walked around the streets for awhile until Brad found a place to get a haircut. After that we stumbled upon the night market and things really began to look up. I pulled freshwater pearls out of a live oyster and bought some lychees which are one of my favorite fruits. I felt my spirits really begin to lift without forcing them and I found myself happy to be in China once again. Guilin was looking up even though I was still having bizarre motion vertigo from being on the train for so long.
We decided to end the night by going to a cute looking pizza place, called Pizza Papa. We ordered half Hawaiian (for me) half something with peppers for Brad (who hates Hawaiian). All seemed good in the world until the pizza arrived. Instead of normal sauce my half was smeared with some white substance. Those of you who know me well all know my deep hatred for mayonnaise. I'm talking hate here. Sure, I can eat it if it's artfully mixed in to a tuna sandwich but the sight/taste of goopy straight up mayonnaise makes me feel like throwing up. There, all over my Hawaiian masterpiece, was oopy goopy slathered mayonnaise. I retrieved a menu, pointed at the words "tomato sauce" to the server, and asked why I had mayonnaise smeared all over the pizza. After a few minutes of confusion she consulted with the manager several times and finally figured out the translation on their menu was wrong but the manager insisted they could not do anything. Apparently in Chinese characters it said mayonnaise but clear as day in English it said tomato sauce. Brad and I both stared in disbelief at her. My mouth physically could not eat that hot mayo mess and they has already made us pay prior to eating. I was having terrible luck with food today.
We explained that it was not our fault their menu said the wrong thing and if they did not want to remake the pizza they could give us a partial refund, since Brad's half was fine. No problem either way it was their choice. This poor waitress was going back and forth between us and the lady manager, who began yelling from ten feet away while sitting at another table and wouldn't she even look at us. Based on the scene she was creating and the stares from the other customers I knew she was saying nasty business about us in Mandarin. She kept flipping her hands at us like we were dirty trash she wanted to take out and yelling all fast. The apologetic waitress went back and forth as she apologized to us in English that there was nothing she could do. I could handle the 20 hour train, I could handle the 1 hour standing bus ride with my 30 lb backpack, I could handle getting my lady visitor on a dirty train, and I could deal with biting into sharp objects but damn it all I was not paying for gross hot mayonnaise pizza. Enough was enough.
As the manager turned away and began to talk on her phone (please stop for a moment and try to imagine a manager of a restaurant in America sitting at one of their tables talking trash and yelling on the phone about a customer sitting ten feet away) brad finally threatened to go over there. I took matters into my own hands. Staying totally calm I went and just sat at her table and just stared at her, smiling the entire time. After a minute of this she knew i wasn't going anywhere. She wouldn't even look at me but finally motioned the server over again. She spoke in rapid fire Mandarin and the server then informed me they would be remaking my pizza after all. I thanked her very nicely and the manager got up and huffed off to sit outside. I could not believe anyone could treat a customer so poorly especially when it was clear that they had made the mistake. I have rarely ever been treated with such disregard the way I was tonight, especially when I stayed as nice as I did and never raised my voice. I'm proud of myself for not ever lowering to her level of rudeness even though it was tempting to yell back. After a few minutes the manager came back inside.
As we waited for the new pizza to finish cooking Brad suddenly noticed a long tail poking through the fake moss overhead covering the ceiling beams. Yes, ladies and gentlemen you guessed it! A huge rat was perched above us probably waiting to feast on the nasty mayonnaise pizza we left behind. I felt physically ill watching it's fat squirmy tail dip below the fake foliage as that creature sat above. Then the pizza finished cooking and we quickly asked to get it to go rather than sitting there another moment. As we were leaving after profusely thanking the waitress for helping us translate Brad turned around and went back up to the counter. He gave the waitress a thumbs up and said, "you were great and very nice. Thanks for your help." He then turned to the manager who had made me feel so upset and said,"But you are very rude! You were rude to her and I didn't like it." He gave her a big thumbs down and the waitress started to snicker. We both turned and walked out the door. I hope that rat falls on her head. If this was America I would report her to the board of health and safety yet here in China there really isn't anything I can do other than thank my white knight Brad for defending my honor with the thumbs down sign.
We arrived back at the hostel and ate the pizza (rat and all I was not throwing it away after all that hassle) and I had a chance to calm down. I rarely care what others think of me yet it was really upsetting and made me feel vulnerable when she made such a scene. I didn't like being talked about in a language everyone else around me understands- at least have the decency to say it to my face in English and then I probably won't care at all. To add a cherry on top of this day I got online to add the finishing touches to my earlier eloquent blog about the train ride experience when the iPod malfunctioned and the whole thing erased. Everything. All of my hard work was gone in a second along with my continued attempt at a positive attitude. Poof!
I feel like that book Alexander and the Terrible,Horrible,No Good Very Bad Day. I wish I could remember how it ends but I can't- instead my story will end with me going to sleep and being grateful that tomorrow is a new beginning that won't involve trains, carrying backpacks, mean managers, mayonnaise, or rats. Here's hoping...
I warned you this wasn't pretty. Such is life whether in Colorado, Timbuktu, or China. Its not like anything catastrophic happened whatsoever- rather a series of irritating events that combined with hormones to make a frustrating day. This trip isn't all about sunshine and roses. At least the bad days are few and far between and maybe I just need to look a little bit deeper. Perhaps today is just like that yucky looking oyster from earlier tonight- it looks dirty on the outside and inside is a lot of squishy stuff to get through but hidden within are also just a few beautiful pearls. Hopefully Guilin proves to be a pearl and I bet it will be a lot shinier in the morning.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Comparaholics Anonymous
As humans I think we have an innate want to compare and contrast things. We don't always realize we are even doing it but it's amazing how many times a day it's done without a second thought. "It's good, but not as good as..."or perhaps "wow, I love her hair I wish mine looked like that", "today was a better day than yesterday", "I wish I had that" or even simply "I've seen better". It wasn't until I came on this trip and decided to stop trying to compare that I realized what an over comparer I truly am. I'm addicted to comparisons. I even find myself comparing my frequency of comparisons against Brads frequency of comparisons-good God I have a problem.
On this trip I find myself comparing and contrasting at an alarming rate. I compare hostels we stay at, I compare street food vendors, and I compare the friendliness of the people I come across. I contrast cultural differences against that of America and mannerisms I deem to be strange. I compare the fashion I see on a daily basis to my own. I contrast food choices in the East vs West. Some things I think are acceptable to compare such as prices to make sure you get the best deal possible or comparing flights or trains or travel choices. Using websites and reviews can help find accommodation that is clean and tourist destinations that are worth seeing. That being said, however, I think that the majority of daily comparison actually leads us down a path of unhappiness. Either it makes us question the value of what we have or a choice that has been made or we are left feeling like "its" (or even ourselves) just not good enough. On the flip side some comparing leaves us feeling superior to others and in the end lessens the experience by which it was preceded. We are all just people trying to find our own personal path to happiness and it's important that our short term on this earth is not wasted with less thans and better thans.
I think one of the dangers of a trip like mine is the constant want to compare. A frequent question I hear is "what country has been your favorite so far?" My natural inclination as a comparison addict is to start rattling off the countries we have visited in numerical order based on rating. Most people pick just one country when they go on a trip or vacation and are never presented with the problem of comparing radically different places as if they can be lumped into the same category. I have been resisting that natural urge and forcing myself to look at each place we have been as many separate experiences that deserve to stand on their own. True we have stayed primarily in Asia and to many western people that seems like the countries would be similar. I have learned that is the opposite of correct. That would be like saying America and Mexico are the same because they are both located in North America. It's next to impossible to compare India to Thailand to China and so on. Granted some of the countries we have visited have certain similarities but they all have differences too- after all, Asia is a continent and not one big country.
I run into problems when I start comparing the places we have travelled and begin to walk the path to unhappiness. At first I didn't really like China very much. I can admit it. Perhaps it was due to a wicked cold I was fighting, the rainy weather in Beijing, or the intense spitting and shouting I was not accustomed to. I found myself saying to Brad, "They don't yell in Thailand. Why are people eating old eggs? This is not Thailand." No shit Ashley, you are not in Thailand anymore! As I started to give China a chance to be what it is rather than placing my own expectations and comparisons upon it I found that I quite like a lot of things about this place. That's not to say there are not things I experience in China that fill me with outrage but I have to remember I chose to come. When I decide to look at difficulties as an adventure it makes life a lot more fun. Sure, I have a much harder time communicating and I rarely know exactly what I have ordered to eat but that just means its an experience. After spending a few weeks here in China I do not mind the shouting, I have spit on the streets a few times, and I have gotten fantastically good at charades. I have vowed to let China stand on its own and not compare it to any other place we have been. Even still I find myself comparing places within China to one another (hmmm... I think I prefer Shanghai to Beijing) but even that is tricky because I go right back to the less than/better than scenario that I am trying to escape. Beijing has rich history and the Great Wall, Tianjin has Mt PanShan, Shanghai has the Bund and incredible skyscrapers, Suzhou has lovely gardens and canals, and there are still so many places left to see that each hold something special. Rather than comparing I am going to do my best to just be grateful for all the things I am getting to do and just let it stop at that, even when I have to wait an hour at the railway station or airport for a cab to my hostel. P.S. lines do not really exist in China.
We are on this trip to experience things that are different from America and though at times i might miss "my culture" its important for me to remember why I love travel. Everyday there is something new. Yesterday a Chinese man sitting at our table helped himself (without asking) to our bag of lychee fruit. They make your hands very sticky so I offered him some hand sanitizer. He accepted and then was perplexed, smelling it and slapping it on his elbows and knees. I was very amused but Brad and I quickly recovered and demonstrated how to rub hands together to use it properly. He finally figured it out, but still seemed pretty confused and continued to smell his elbows. Only in China!
Will I ever be able to stop comparing completely? Please, be real here. Im only human after all. I think a healthy amount of comparing is still an acceptable choice as sometimes this can cause us to feel more grateful or even inspired. It's when it becomes a compulsion that it's detrimental to our sense of self. I dare you, brave soul reading this blog, to watch how many times a day you find yourself comparing and contrasting. Perhaps just being aware of this habit will help us to lesson the frequency and then we can all feel a little more satisfied with the reality of what is. It's a long path to happiness.
As a side note, even after writing this blog I found myself wishing I had gotten different cookies at the bakery rather than the ones I chose. Now I'm stuck on a train with a sub par snack. But I am determined to turn over a new leaf and I will just be grateful that at least I have cookies and I'm not stuck with a fermented egg.
Off to Hangzhou!
On this trip I find myself comparing and contrasting at an alarming rate. I compare hostels we stay at, I compare street food vendors, and I compare the friendliness of the people I come across. I contrast cultural differences against that of America and mannerisms I deem to be strange. I compare the fashion I see on a daily basis to my own. I contrast food choices in the East vs West. Some things I think are acceptable to compare such as prices to make sure you get the best deal possible or comparing flights or trains or travel choices. Using websites and reviews can help find accommodation that is clean and tourist destinations that are worth seeing. That being said, however, I think that the majority of daily comparison actually leads us down a path of unhappiness. Either it makes us question the value of what we have or a choice that has been made or we are left feeling like "its" (or even ourselves) just not good enough. On the flip side some comparing leaves us feeling superior to others and in the end lessens the experience by which it was preceded. We are all just people trying to find our own personal path to happiness and it's important that our short term on this earth is not wasted with less thans and better thans.
I think one of the dangers of a trip like mine is the constant want to compare. A frequent question I hear is "what country has been your favorite so far?" My natural inclination as a comparison addict is to start rattling off the countries we have visited in numerical order based on rating. Most people pick just one country when they go on a trip or vacation and are never presented with the problem of comparing radically different places as if they can be lumped into the same category. I have been resisting that natural urge and forcing myself to look at each place we have been as many separate experiences that deserve to stand on their own. True we have stayed primarily in Asia and to many western people that seems like the countries would be similar. I have learned that is the opposite of correct. That would be like saying America and Mexico are the same because they are both located in North America. It's next to impossible to compare India to Thailand to China and so on. Granted some of the countries we have visited have certain similarities but they all have differences too- after all, Asia is a continent and not one big country.
I run into problems when I start comparing the places we have travelled and begin to walk the path to unhappiness. At first I didn't really like China very much. I can admit it. Perhaps it was due to a wicked cold I was fighting, the rainy weather in Beijing, or the intense spitting and shouting I was not accustomed to. I found myself saying to Brad, "They don't yell in Thailand. Why are people eating old eggs? This is not Thailand." No shit Ashley, you are not in Thailand anymore! As I started to give China a chance to be what it is rather than placing my own expectations and comparisons upon it I found that I quite like a lot of things about this place. That's not to say there are not things I experience in China that fill me with outrage but I have to remember I chose to come. When I decide to look at difficulties as an adventure it makes life a lot more fun. Sure, I have a much harder time communicating and I rarely know exactly what I have ordered to eat but that just means its an experience. After spending a few weeks here in China I do not mind the shouting, I have spit on the streets a few times, and I have gotten fantastically good at charades. I have vowed to let China stand on its own and not compare it to any other place we have been. Even still I find myself comparing places within China to one another (hmmm... I think I prefer Shanghai to Beijing) but even that is tricky because I go right back to the less than/better than scenario that I am trying to escape. Beijing has rich history and the Great Wall, Tianjin has Mt PanShan, Shanghai has the Bund and incredible skyscrapers, Suzhou has lovely gardens and canals, and there are still so many places left to see that each hold something special. Rather than comparing I am going to do my best to just be grateful for all the things I am getting to do and just let it stop at that, even when I have to wait an hour at the railway station or airport for a cab to my hostel. P.S. lines do not really exist in China.
We are on this trip to experience things that are different from America and though at times i might miss "my culture" its important for me to remember why I love travel. Everyday there is something new. Yesterday a Chinese man sitting at our table helped himself (without asking) to our bag of lychee fruit. They make your hands very sticky so I offered him some hand sanitizer. He accepted and then was perplexed, smelling it and slapping it on his elbows and knees. I was very amused but Brad and I quickly recovered and demonstrated how to rub hands together to use it properly. He finally figured it out, but still seemed pretty confused and continued to smell his elbows. Only in China!
Will I ever be able to stop comparing completely? Please, be real here. Im only human after all. I think a healthy amount of comparing is still an acceptable choice as sometimes this can cause us to feel more grateful or even inspired. It's when it becomes a compulsion that it's detrimental to our sense of self. I dare you, brave soul reading this blog, to watch how many times a day you find yourself comparing and contrasting. Perhaps just being aware of this habit will help us to lesson the frequency and then we can all feel a little more satisfied with the reality of what is. It's a long path to happiness.
As a side note, even after writing this blog I found myself wishing I had gotten different cookies at the bakery rather than the ones I chose. Now I'm stuck on a train with a sub par snack. But I am determined to turn over a new leaf and I will just be grateful that at least I have cookies and I'm not stuck with a fermented egg.
Off to Hangzhou!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
The not so delicate art of selling to tourists...Asian style
Welcome to the Merchant School Of Hard Knocks. Thank you all for coming. Here are the guidelines you must follow if you hope to make a sale. Unfortunately you will have to go through all 9 steps many times before you can capture just one poor sap, but if you do not follow these rules you will fail.
Step 1: Say "hello" very loud followed by "okay" to test the rudeness level of cultural cordiality norms. If they acknowledge or even glance, proceed to call the mark sir or madam to make them feel important and establish the illusion that you are a harmless merchant.
Step 2: Use body to block pathway and change potential buyers walking trajectory. Make them walk around your outstretched goods if they be so bold.
Step 3: Try using a commanding voice and say "you buy!" followed by the price for one item that you would hope to earn for an entire days work. It has worked one time in folkloric tales of merchants old but it is worth a try.
Step 4: After three "no's" not two, it is important to not waste your tedious efforts up to now and quickly develop a rapport with the prospective buyer by displaying your linguistic knowledge. Counting to ten is a great start. Also state populations of major cities and if they are from America then be sure to say Obama with a thumbs up and Bush with thumbs down.
Step 5: Pull on heart strings after person had stopped to compliment you on your English skills despite your monetary handicap. Suddenly you are very tired from lack of calories and hydration. Explain how your work day began at 4:00am and your mother and grandfather are sick, you have no money for school and you lost your clothes and sister when your caulked wagon overturned trying to ford the Oregon trail river.
Step 6: Accompany step 5 with downtrodden eyes and frown. Slump shoulders too.
Step 7: Give a nearly fair price after audacious buyer has said two more "no's" and walked away over 20 ft.
Step 8: Yell final price.
Step 9: If all else has failed, insult in own language and approach next target.
Hello sir/mam thanks for listening to the blog. While we are at it, does anyone need a Cambodian postcard I have 20. Or maybe a broken kite. Does anyone need a stuffed key chain!? Only $8- You buy! Obama!
-Brad
Step 1: Say "hello" very loud followed by "okay" to test the rudeness level of cultural cordiality norms. If they acknowledge or even glance, proceed to call the mark sir or madam to make them feel important and establish the illusion that you are a harmless merchant.
Step 2: Use body to block pathway and change potential buyers walking trajectory. Make them walk around your outstretched goods if they be so bold.
Step 3: Try using a commanding voice and say "you buy!" followed by the price for one item that you would hope to earn for an entire days work. It has worked one time in folkloric tales of merchants old but it is worth a try.
Step 4: After three "no's" not two, it is important to not waste your tedious efforts up to now and quickly develop a rapport with the prospective buyer by displaying your linguistic knowledge. Counting to ten is a great start. Also state populations of major cities and if they are from America then be sure to say Obama with a thumbs up and Bush with thumbs down.
Step 5: Pull on heart strings after person had stopped to compliment you on your English skills despite your monetary handicap. Suddenly you are very tired from lack of calories and hydration. Explain how your work day began at 4:00am and your mother and grandfather are sick, you have no money for school and you lost your clothes and sister when your caulked wagon overturned trying to ford the Oregon trail river.
Step 6: Accompany step 5 with downtrodden eyes and frown. Slump shoulders too.
Step 7: Give a nearly fair price after audacious buyer has said two more "no's" and walked away over 20 ft.
Step 8: Yell final price.
Step 9: If all else has failed, insult in own language and approach next target.
Hello sir/mam thanks for listening to the blog. While we are at it, does anyone need a Cambodian postcard I have 20. Or maybe a broken kite. Does anyone need a stuffed key chain!? Only $8- You buy! Obama!
-Brad
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